Moonwalker, a film I must have watched 50 times when I was a kid. I grew up on Michael Jackson, I wanted to be him and I had all his songs, I watched this film on repeat and loved every single minute of it.

I was driving home with my girlfriend the other evening and Smooth Criminal popped up on the radio and I had a sudden revelation – ‘why don’t I have Moonwalker on DVD?, it was awesome, or at least I remember it being awesome’…

I got home and ordered it straight away – on Blu-ray for a mere £7.00 – a god-damn bargain if I ever saw one.

I’ve now just finished watching it with my girlfriend who is – it’s safe to say – far from impressed with the end result whilst I sat there with a cheesy grin on my mush through the entirety of the hour and a half running time.

BUT, Here is why, if you haven’t already seen it, my 8 reasons to see Moonwalker, OW!

(1.) The cover art owns your face.

Yes, just look at it, if I saw this on dribbble tomorrow, I would cry tears of joy, the cover actually looks cooler to me now, than it did when I was seven.

(2.) The music owns your mothers face.

Yes, the music. The film is jam-packed full of all of MJ’s biggest hits, the film doesn’t technically even start for about 40 minutes, instead you get a huge montage of his videos, live performances and achievements – a greatest hit compilation free of charge.

(3.) The story/stories are insane.

The film is almost two or three short films in one, there is the aforementioned montage of videos, but other stories as well, I don’t want to spoil it but you should expect dancing (duh), cars, robots, spiders, laser rocket launchers, bad ass machine guns, plans for world domination and 1930’s gangsters with tommy guns – sounds better than The Kings Speech right… right?

Best picture ever?

(4.) Mother fucking Joe Pesci stars (“do I amuse you?”)

As a child beating, spider loving, nut eating drug dealer with his own private army of foot soldiers. That is all.

Nice ponytail.

(5.) MJ turns into a car, oh and a robot, and then a space ship.

You read that right, forget transformers, MJ goes not one, but two better than all of them by being able to transform into three different things, he can also pull out bullet proof force fields whenever he feels like it.

(6.) Where else can you see a motorcycle driving rabbit (played by Michael Jackson) have a dance off with… Michael Jackson?

It begins…

You’ve always wanted to witness that right, and so you can! There is a full sequence created in claymation between rabid fans who chase after MJ on his motorcycle, MJ is himself clay, but also a rabbit called Spike, with a bike that can float on… just see the film.

(7.) Smooth Criminal – Best Dance Sequence Ever

Fact. Fuck your Lady Gaga, this guy was busting moves so awesome it made every kid dance like an idiot in the 80’s.

The video for Smooth Criminal is brilliant anyway, I’m sure you’ve all seen it, now imagine that but extended in length with a weird dance break that looks like its straight from a blue movie in the middle, more dancing, more money throwing and a guy who literally gets frazzled through a wall – pretty, prettay, prettay good.

Orgy?

(8.) Ladysmith Black Mambazo sing the credits

Why? who cares, it blew you away didn’t it.